last night

i have done a lot of stupid things as of late. i have lopped off my hair, i betrayed the man i love with a douchebag....the list goes on. so i was deep in self deprecating pity when my best friend mentioned non chalantly that this would be my last night in nyc before leaving for malaga. my last night. hopefully i wont fuck it up. i've been running around like a crazy person prepping for this trip that i really haven't had time to sit, and decompress, and realize that i will be traveling to another continent for a summer to learn a language i love and to wander around another country. spain. land of flamenco and bull running. of 3 hour siestas, moorish conquest and javier bardem. this would be my place of residence for the next 6 weeks, the bulk of the summer, a season of my life. tomorrow, i will be leaving nyc to begin my studies in spain.

but tonight, is my last night in new york.

i have never not spent a summer in this city. i truly believe new york city in the summertime is like no other place on earth. its electric, pulsating; a rhythmic cadence of percussive sex and pervasive aggression. the concrete even teems with a sultry smoke that ascends in erotic dance; homage to the pulse of this sweltering backdrop. new york city becomes a tropical island, replete with hurricane season and all.

how could i leave it? was i crazy?

i want to take some time tonight and appreciate it. make love to it, slowly, one last time before we say goodbye for a spell...i want it to know how much im going to miss it, and if it will miss me. i want new york to know that im going away, but i am taking it with me. i carry it in my heart, and other places, and always will. and when i come back, we can pick up where we left off, although, hopefully, i will come back changed. for better.